Umm..

It's been a long day. It will be long days from now on for quite sometime. I'm NOT complaining!!

I'm really surprised at myself. I'm rather calm and not even a bit nervous, worried or anything. I don't want to call this "denial" because it sounds so pessimistic and a little pathetic. I think I just know it will be fine. OK, I'm NOT challenging the destiny or God or whatever is controlling. Please, I'm really not! I just want to sound and feel confidant.

But me being not worried does not really solve anything. I know. But I'd like to think this is a good attitude. I have to admit though that a tiny part of me is worried. Not because of what's happening but it's me. When I'm like this, unusually calm, there is always a storm ahead. When that comes I panic and trouble follows. I hope it is not like that. Please let it all be OK... Please!

I don't want to stress too much on this point but... There is going to be a LOT of pressure. No, not the depressing kind of pressure but the one that helps us GROW and toughen ourselves.

There are problems someplace else too. This is a different case. I hate not being able to help. This is not the first time too! But people never listen when I say they deserve better. Adamant idiots! You see it is times like this I was talking about! You never listen!! I really hate not being able to do anything..!!

Well. Can't do anything now except WAIT. Hmm...