Ghosts

Hi AR...


They made us believe that it is OUR life and that we can shape it as we like. And then they taught us about ‘destiny’ and how our life isn’t in our hands after all! Our paths are all laid out even before we decide to choose. Even before we are aware of them perhaps!

Our paths crossed for a brief amount of time.  I’m happy and proud to have known you, however briefly. You are simple, not so simple, honest, caring, hardworking and strong; you are intelligent, generous, sweet and giving. I thank you with all my heart for being one of the most important people in my life. You were one of the precious few I could talk to without holding back. You have changed the way I perceive things and people and my own life!

All of this may sound too smarmy and insincere, given the fact that I’m writing a “dead” letter to a person I have to refer to as a “ghost from the past”. But all of it is still true; you only have my word for it and nothing else! Yes, I know... If a person is important we would try to hold on to them, come what may. When we have differences, we ought to fight it out and get it over with. That’s the ideal or rather normal way of dealing things. But… I can’t do that. I can’t fight. I’m simply incapable of that. Not because I’m a very peace-loving person, I simply don’t like the after taste of a fight. Instead, I take the more unpleasant yet easier shortcut: I quit.

That is precisely what happened with us. I quit. Because I wanted to have only a good memory and none other.

When you asked me why, I didn’t have an answer. No, that’s a lie. I had the answer, but I didn’t have the guts to say it out loud. I could’ve just stopped being an idiot and be ‘normal’. But I didn’t. Not even when I saw the kind of hurt in your eyes that made me wish I’d die of shame. Not even when I saw you break into tears!

However stupid it may sound, this is my answer. At some point, I have realised that we are two very different people with two very different paths laid out before us. We couldn’t be the “best friends” that I hoped we would. That realisation made me want to run away and hide somewhere safer; somewhere where I know for sure that I won’t ever have to come to the “parting of ways”. That is what I did. I said my goodbye before it is time to say it. It isn’t the most sensible thing to do but I did it anyway. I just had to quit when it is still good. I can’t bear to wait for the good thing we had to gradually fade into nothingness. I’d rather wrench myself away abruptly and keep the memories intact than wait until they turn bitter.

With some people, you just can’t keep it ‘simple’. You were one of them.

Did all of this leave me with a peaceful mind? Well, no! But here is my consolation to appease my restless conscience – for the harsh bit in the story, I have only ME to blame; and… I have an untarnished, splendid memory of YOU! That’s all I ever wanted!!

Wherever you are, I'll always hope for your best.

Sincerely yours,

Mike Testing

Found this site http://lekhini.org/ and it is delightful! Testing it! :-D

గిరీశం: నేను మాత్రం చదవలేకనా. అంతకన్నా గళగ్రాహిగా చదువుతాను. లెక్చర్లిచ్చే పండితుణ్ణి నాకిది పేలపిండి కాదు; అయితే రాసిన వాడి తెలివికి సంతోషిస్తున్నాను. యిది అరటి పండు విప్పినట్టు తర్జుమాచేసి దాఖలు చెయ్యమని శలవా? 

అగ్ని: అంతకంటేనా! (తనలో) డబ్బు ఖర్చు లేకుండా వీడి చేత కగితమ్ముక్కలన్నీ తర్జుమా చేయించేస్తాను. 

గిరీశం: యింకా యింగ్లీషు కాయితాలు యేవున్నా నామీద పారెయ్యండి, తర్జుమా చేసి పెడతాను.

అగ్ని: అట్లాగే. 

వెంకమ్మ: మా అబ్బాయీ  మీరూ  ఒక్క పర్యాయం యింగ్లీషు మట్లాడండి బాబు

గిరీశం: అట్లాగే నమ్మా.
My dear Venkatesam-
Twinkle! Twinkle! Little star,
How I wonder what you are!

వెంకటేశం: There is a white man in the tent. 

గిరీశం: The boy stood on the burning deck
Whence all but he had fled. 

వెంకటేశం: Upon the same base and on the same side of it the sides of trapezium are equal to one another. 

గిరీశం: Of man's disobedience and the fruit of that mango tree, sing, Venkatesa, my very good boy. 

వెంకటేశం: Nouns ending in f or fe change their f or fe into ves.

అగ్ని: యీ ఆడుతున్న మాటలకి అర్ద్హం యేవిషండి?

గిరీశం: యీశలవుల్లో యే ప్రకారం చదవాలో అదంతా మాట్లాడుతున్నావండీ.

Try and guess where this passage is from!

Fill in the blank!

What's that word that comes in that blank???

Also, what's the meaning of the last line?? (Maname maro...)

Sigh! Beeeyutiful song! <3 <3 <3

Rubbish

They say “blood will out”. And it does. You can’t help it. They also say nature and nurture make a man who he is. But I believe that “nurture” can only get you so far. It is only a very good makeup that, if required, conceals the nature within. At some point, that make-up must come off.  Try as you might, it’s hard to disguise your nature. And this “nature” is what you are made of – your brain, brawn and blood; your DNA! “Nurture” comes from your brought up, background, position, money, status or any other external qualifications. This probably decides whatever you become. But “Nature” is whatever you are and it is written on all of your genes; “Nature” decides you – you as a person, your personality, your very soul! A sad truth though –Nature or Nurture, you cannot do anything about it. You have to make the most out of what you are given with.

One wise man (Dumbledore) once said “It’s our choices that show what we truly are!” It is (partly) true. But even those choices are not unaffected by our nature, are they? I mean, if Harry wasn’t Lily and James’ son then maybe he wouldn’t have “chosen” the same things as he did now. If he were Snape’s son... er... Ok, not Snape, Voldemort! If he were Voldemort’s son, then I bet his choices would have oh so different! Even if he had been brought up in the same conditions! So nurture doesn’t really matter! Blood will out!!

I am really grateful that I have such great parents. Especially when I discover that I too have some of their very admirable qualities. BUT, I’m also one of those people who are terrified of turning into one of their parents. (Sounds awful, but the feeling is quite common, so it is legitimate. Stop making faces!)

I’m going to recite one of my dad’s favourite lectures  --- You see, there are four stages in a child’s psychological growth w.r.t its relationship with its parents.

1.  Child : I’m not ok, You are ok – A child with all its innocence considers its parents to be the most knowledgeable.
2. Adolescent : I’m not ok, You are not ok – The difficult age when the child starts having suspicions about the wisdom of its parents
3. Teenager : I’m ok, You are not ok – the difficult age (for the parents) when the child is at its rebellious best and is totally convinced that parents are ignorant and “old-fashioned”
4. Adult : I’m ok, You are ok – the final stage when child (or person rather) makes its peace with the ways of the world, understands the society as a whole, and identifies itself on par with its parents.

Hmmm... I’m not sure I got to number 4 yet. I keep going back and forth! I’m not sure why I told this four point thingy either. I had a point but I forgot!

Oh, here it is! So from stage 2 onward, you start recognising some of the flaws and defects in your parents. That is, from the age of ten or eleven. That is when we start to try and learn from their mistakes, however unconsciously. This continues until we are adults. This is the stage when we start being “mature” and try to erase those memories of the days when we were juvenile and delinquent. But I guess some part of us still lingers on that time of our childhood when our parents – practically our gods until then – have somehow become earthlings; normal people! Ok, I’m exaggerating a little but you get the drift!  So it is not really that bad that people feel this way, is it?

Anyway! The main reason for this babble is this. Today’s been weird. It’s mother’s day tomorrow and today I’m being very irritable towards her. All these days – for two years nonstop – I never once lost my temper on her. But today I did. Today of all days! It’s a bloody conspiracy against me! Yeah, the stars are conspiring against me! Maybe when their heavens are full, they incriminate people like this so that they can be pushed into hell. But why ME? It’s not like I’m top on the list of people going into heaven or anything! 

Ok, I don’t believe in mother’s day or any other “day” for that matter. But the timing is bad. Plus, I don’t feel good writing this but I had to get it out. And I can’t say just this, can I? That I’ve been a jerk to my mom all day?? I can’t post this thing now because everywhere else people are putting up these mushy quotes! And I’ll be the jerk! Unfair! Hence the psychology crap. It’s my way of convincing myself that I’m this rubbish because I may have inherited this kind of thinking from my great grandmother or something!

Anyway!