Rubbish

They say “blood will out”. And it does. You can’t help it. They also say nature and nurture make a man who he is. But I believe that “nurture” can only get you so far. It is only a very good makeup that, if required, conceals the nature within. At some point, that make-up must come off.  Try as you might, it’s hard to disguise your nature. And this “nature” is what you are made of – your brain, brawn and blood; your DNA! “Nurture” comes from your brought up, background, position, money, status or any other external qualifications. This probably decides whatever you become. But “Nature” is whatever you are and it is written on all of your genes; “Nature” decides you – you as a person, your personality, your very soul! A sad truth though –Nature or Nurture, you cannot do anything about it. You have to make the most out of what you are given with.

One wise man (Dumbledore) once said “It’s our choices that show what we truly are!” It is (partly) true. But even those choices are not unaffected by our nature, are they? I mean, if Harry wasn’t Lily and James’ son then maybe he wouldn’t have “chosen” the same things as he did now. If he were Snape’s son... er... Ok, not Snape, Voldemort! If he were Voldemort’s son, then I bet his choices would have oh so different! Even if he had been brought up in the same conditions! So nurture doesn’t really matter! Blood will out!!

I am really grateful that I have such great parents. Especially when I discover that I too have some of their very admirable qualities. BUT, I’m also one of those people who are terrified of turning into one of their parents. (Sounds awful, but the feeling is quite common, so it is legitimate. Stop making faces!)

I’m going to recite one of my dad’s favourite lectures  --- You see, there are four stages in a child’s psychological growth w.r.t its relationship with its parents.

1.  Child : I’m not ok, You are ok – A child with all its innocence considers its parents to be the most knowledgeable.
2. Adolescent : I’m not ok, You are not ok – The difficult age when the child starts having suspicions about the wisdom of its parents
3. Teenager : I’m ok, You are not ok – the difficult age (for the parents) when the child is at its rebellious best and is totally convinced that parents are ignorant and “old-fashioned”
4. Adult : I’m ok, You are ok – the final stage when child (or person rather) makes its peace with the ways of the world, understands the society as a whole, and identifies itself on par with its parents.

Hmmm... I’m not sure I got to number 4 yet. I keep going back and forth! I’m not sure why I told this four point thingy either. I had a point but I forgot!

Oh, here it is! So from stage 2 onward, you start recognising some of the flaws and defects in your parents. That is, from the age of ten or eleven. That is when we start to try and learn from their mistakes, however unconsciously. This continues until we are adults. This is the stage when we start being “mature” and try to erase those memories of the days when we were juvenile and delinquent. But I guess some part of us still lingers on that time of our childhood when our parents – practically our gods until then – have somehow become earthlings; normal people! Ok, I’m exaggerating a little but you get the drift!  So it is not really that bad that people feel this way, is it?

Anyway! The main reason for this babble is this. Today’s been weird. It’s mother’s day tomorrow and today I’m being very irritable towards her. All these days – for two years nonstop – I never once lost my temper on her. But today I did. Today of all days! It’s a bloody conspiracy against me! Yeah, the stars are conspiring against me! Maybe when their heavens are full, they incriminate people like this so that they can be pushed into hell. But why ME? It’s not like I’m top on the list of people going into heaven or anything! 

Ok, I don’t believe in mother’s day or any other “day” for that matter. But the timing is bad. Plus, I don’t feel good writing this but I had to get it out. And I can’t say just this, can I? That I’ve been a jerk to my mom all day?? I can’t post this thing now because everywhere else people are putting up these mushy quotes! And I’ll be the jerk! Unfair! Hence the psychology crap. It’s my way of convincing myself that I’m this rubbish because I may have inherited this kind of thinking from my great grandmother or something!

Anyway!