Crazy easy life!

It's wonderfully cold in the mornings these days when I wake up. My room so warm and the air smells of rain! I'd always want to sleep a little more. And I do! 

I can soak up in all the books I own. I can read them as much as I want, as long as I want - late into night, all day long, even while eating, with absolutely nothing nagging at the back of my head that I might be late for something, or I should get enough sleep or anything at all!

I can watch TV as long as I want. I can laugh at the silliest things without checking myself that someone might think I'm weird. 

I can eat happily. Home food! If I want to eat junk stuff, I can have that too! Now that I don't have to cook as a rule, I find cooking very interesting. I can cook whenever I feel like it.

I have a phone that had stayed with me through thick and thin :-D. I can call, text whenever I miss someone from the outside world. I can sit on the internet if everything else is boring.

If I get too bored with all the relaxing, I can start studying. It is hard work and it makes me tired by the end of the day. For the first time, feeling tired feels good! 

And if I feel sorry for myself that I have been working too hard, I can simply sit and watch the world go by! Just sit and sip the awesome coffee mom makes anytime I ask for one. Just sit by the window looking at the trees, birds, kids, anything and start dreaming with a big, content smile on my face. Sit and do nothing! 

Because I have all the time in the world!

BUT.....

I also happen to have a precious little conscience, that NEVER allows me to enjoy any of it!! Grrrrrr...! It - the stupid conscience - always keeps pricking me that I have to leave all this, that I have to try and work my ass off so that I can find another blood-sucking, slow-death inducing job!! It simply wants me to go find WORK and wants me to stop being content and HAPPY!!

Life is so unfair. It is some kind of a evil, twisted paradox isn't it??